Being a friend begins with hospitality.
Levi hadn’t been a believer for long. He had just made the radical decision to leave behind his old life as a tax collector and follow Jesus, but his heart was still burdened for his friends who were far from God. He desperately wanted them to know Jesus the way he had come to know Him. So what did he do? He did what he knew best—he threw a party!
A Party with a Purpose
This was no ordinary party; it was a party with a purpose. Levi invited his old friends as well as Jesus and His new followers. The night before, Levi might have been nervous, thinking, “I don’t know if this is going to work. What if the party is a huge failure?” As it turned out, it was an incredible success. Jesus and His followers struck up conversations with Levi’s wild friends, and as they shared a meal together, walls came down, and hearts began to open (Luke 5:27–29, ESV).
The Spiritual Impact of Sharing a Meal
There is something powerful that happens over a meal. Somehow, when we share a meal with someone, barriers fall, and connections are made. Jesus often shared meals with friends who had spiritual questions. He gathered in homes for long, meaningful conversations (Luke 10:38, ESV) and often dined with spiritual seekers searching for answers (Luke 14:1; 19:5, ESV).
Hospitality: A Biblical Practice
In Scripture, this practice of sharing meals is called hospitality. It sometimes also included providing short-term housing. Hospitality was a hallmark of godly people, especially Jesus’ followers in the first century (1 Timothy 3:2; 5:10, ESV). It’s also something Jesus explicitly expects of His followers (Matthew 25:38, ESV). Titus 1:8 (NIV) puts it simply: “…be hospitable….”
God Moves When We Share a Meal
Why is hospitality so important? I believe that when we share a meal with the intention of demonstrating Christ’s love, offering friendship, and starting spiritual conversations, God works in powerful ways. He begins to open people’s hearts to both you and the Gospel. Some of my most impactful spiritual conversations have taken place at restaurants over breakfast or lunch. During those meals, people often open up about their struggles and share their hearts.
Making it Practical: Steps to Build Friendships
Let’s get practical for a minute. Now that you’ve made your “Top Five” list of friends, it’s time to build those relationships, and there’s no better way to start than by showing hospitality.
Invite someone from your list to share a meal with you. It could be lunch at a restaurant, dinner at your house, grilling on the patio, or even just meeting for coffee. If they ask, “Why do you want to meet?” simply say, “I just want to hear your story and get to know you better—no strings attached.”
Once you’re together, don’t keep the conversation at the surface. Ask about their background and life story. Pray beforehand that God will help you see their perspective and understand their struggles. Most importantly, listen. You don’t have to guide the conversation toward a Gospel presentation immediately. That will come in time. For now, focus on being a genuine friend.
Building Bridges Over Coffee and Conversations
I remember slowly building a friendship with a neighbor in our cul-de-sac. After several casual street-side chats, I said, “Hey, we should grab coffee with our wives—just to connect!” Surprisingly, he said, “Yes.”
A few days later, the four of us met at a local coffee shop. Sitting together, I could feel we had taken a big step in building our relationship.
As the conversation hit a lull, I said, “Ok, let’s hear your story!”
“What do you mean?” my friend asked.
“I want to know where you grew up, how you two met, and what your journey’s been like. Give us the full version.” He smiled, looked at his wife, and said, “Alright!”
For the next hour, we laughed, heard heartbreaking stories, and connected deeply—all over a simple cup of coffee. That meeting was a turning point, and it eventually opened the door for me to share about Christ with them.
Caring Before Sharing
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” It’s absolutely true. The best way to show you care is by taking the time to listen. And the best place to listen is often over a shared meal.
When your friends feel that you genuinely care, they’ll trust you when you begin to share about the most important relationship in your life. Building friendships through hospitality isn’t just a way to connect—it’s a way to reflect the love of Christ and point others to Him.
This blog features an excerpt from one of our books, Reach Your World.
